Indian Hygiene-inside story

Some sense of hygiene: Kolkatans have the dirtiest hands : Hindustan Times,Kolkata Edition Dated 23/09/08.

As pointed out in a survey conducted by the independent body, Global Hygiene Council, supported by Dettol, a popular disinfectant brand from Reckitt Benckiser brought out that Kolkatans have the most dirtest hands.
During my twenty years association with different people from all over India I have closely watched their behavioural patterns which are so unique in nature. One can differentiate a person from another by his journey to the loo/bathroom which I have closely observed during my innumerous postings and sharing rooms with my colleagues at different places be it in trecking, official assingments , private tours or simply sightseeing tours. These are my findings of people from different parts of India:
Punjabi(both Sardars & Maunas)--- Goes to the loo, relieves,washes,comes out of the bathroom tying the "nara" of the pyjama and washes his hands(both) at the washbasin generally located outside the bathroom.
Rajasthani: Prefers to go outside to relieve which is fondly called as going to the "jungle" with a "lota"(small in size). After finishing his expedition, washes his hands with sand(termed as "amrit" in western parts of Rajasthan) and asks a guy who standing in front of him to pour the precious water.
Harayana: I leave it to others for imagination.
Oriya: A breed of a special kind. Mixes up the whole issue of going for a shit or going to worship. When the nature pressurises, this poor guy strips himself to the "gamcha" whether it is biting cold or hot and does his ritual. The Oriyas do maintain their hygiene if we go by the Global Hygiene Council(GHC) standards but how many of them know that Oriya toilets have always a left over soap cake pasted on the walls of the toilet to be used like a paper soap/ napkin.
North-East guys: They do not wash their clothes leave alone washing their hands.
UP/MP/Chattisgarh axis: They don't bother to wash their private parts after sex what to talk about washing hands before eating.
Bihari: The "gumcha"(more shopisticated ones uses towels) is their symbol of heirarchy in the society. Different rivers/rivulets (running water) comes to their rescue after their morning rituals. Rest the gumcha will do the trick.
South India axis: Red big size Lifebuoy soap cut into different slices to be kept on the soap dish container meant for "toilet purpose" Here toilet strictly denotes only shitting and ablution.
Bengalis: Verdict already declared by the Global Hygiene Council and supported by Dettol.



Global Hygiene Council could have saved a lot of their money to see the hygiene patterns of Indians by taking a railway journey from East to western part of India and again from North to Southern part, diametrically crisscrossing India but only on Sleeper Class ticket so as to know true India. They should wake up around 05.30 in the morning and stay awake atleast till 07.30 so that they can get a good view of different shapes/sizes of human anatomy responding to the nature's call all along the Indian Railways tracks with the sun shining brightly from behind(India really shines at that moment).
Global Hygiene Council and Mr. Dettol soap--- How many Indians have the money to spend money on buying a cake of Dettol soap which you people have in conducting useless survey.

3 out of 10 lie in their CVs

Its strange that out of 10 persons 3 lie in their CVs. Different corporates go
ga-ga over their dream CVs hoping to pick a jewel who will ultimately be their savior.

What happens when they are inducted into the company? Poor performance matched
by equally foolish strategies that errupt from their " brainy" minds put the organisation into
a soup. Results are a disaster with a loss of face and lots of money already gone down the drain.

How to tackle this menace?

Proper verification of the CVs.

Verification should not be necessarily done by local police or unwanted CID fellow
(generally a "line hazir chap") who certifies the character of every person except their
own and probably their siblings. Things can go as far that a person from an enemy country gets a cool job in a sensitive department. So the less said about the different govt. agencies the more better it becomes. Added to this there is also the menace of fake certificates which the
candidates proudly flashes probably issued from an unrecognized university/institute
which never existed at all.

How to do a proper verification?

After a proper selection of a candidate his CV should be sent to HR for a proper checking
of the credentials.Build up one own dedicated team from the Security Dept who will work with the HR Dept.The team will verify discreetly the various claims posted by the candidate who will submit their confidential report to the HR. If the HR feels that the report has been cleverly manipulated and worded with certain ambiguous phrases like" nothing adverse has been noticed " then they should do another independent inquiry from a trusted team of co-workers. This should be followed by periodical updates of his whereabouts if he has been inducted in the company.